TNN Newsdesk!
GOOD EVENING AND WELCOME TO TNN, THE TRIVIAL NEWS NETWORK. THIS IS A TNN SPECIAL NEWS BULLETIN. PLEASE LISTEN VERY CAREFULLY.
Rumours that the police have for months been on the lookout for a Red Spy At Night have turned out to be true. The suspect was found masquerading as one of the Bouncers at The Cavern bar, where he had been indulging in some not so Careful Rapture with a Quartet of Shakers, who were unfortunately led off the Straight and Narrow by him. They were apparently besotted with this man who always left them with the words "I’ll Miss You" and a promise to meet again Same Time, Next Year. In a raid last night a police officer had the Guts to approach the villain, grab his Arms and the Man then surrendered.
The police further revealed that Three Women who had also made the acquaintance of this man probably had a lucky escape. When he suggested they meet for A Talk in the Park they readily agreed to The Proposal – according to experts a classic case of Folie à Trois! They were an odd trio. One of them was an Expert In Flowers, one was nicknamed The Hollow Crown because she was very forgetful and one liked to buy her clothes at the local Shop For Charity and always looked As Good As New. When the man failed to turn up the three continued to sit by the pond Feeding the Ducks, quietly reflecting on The Memory of Water.
And now for something quite different. A no-frills airline recently served Sharks in the Custard as a special treat for passengers whose Homecoming was delayed when they found themselves On Hold At 30,000 Feet and The Fear of Heaven became very real.
Elsewhere, The Guest Lecturer on A Love Course, a theatre workshop in the form of a RolePlay was Babysitting Calvin, a mischievous child, for his friend Oliver who got a nasty Surprise when he came home, looked Behind The Curtain and found The Cagebirds and the Rabbit, Squashed on the floor.
Much excitement was engendered this week by the arrival of a Hollywood star who flew over specially to audition for the lead role in A Streetcar Named Desire, convinced he would be successful. He was not, and somewhat ungraciously accepted the minor role of The Doctor in spite of Himself, admitting later that he enjoyed the challenge.
It has now been confirmed that Diary of a Bad Housewife was written by a man. At The Celebration of the book launch yesterday The Author’s Voice could be heard complaining that he suffered an Identity Crisis after his job was Outsourced.
And finally, a remarkable achievement: The Semi-Circle Basel is 35 years old this year. Time Flies! And to mark the occasion the news bulletin you have just listened to contained the titles of 44 one-act and full-length plays performed by The Semi-Circle between March 2000 and February 2010.
And that’s all from me. Thank you for watching and - Goodnight!
Joy Scherer
PS (from web-site editor): Anyone wishing to hear and see more Semi-Circle talent, is heartily invited to join us at the next Semi-Circle Sketch Evening (especially - though not obligatorily - if you decide to contribute something yourself).
